It’s so easy to forget what you have in front of you.

Words can’t express this weekend. It was an emotional roller coaster. I spent too much time rethinking my choices and over-thinking situations. But through it all, Micah has been there.

He was with me Friday afternoon just to be with me. He was with me all day saturday, studying and not studying, sleeping and eating a quiet dinner at my house where all we did was toast some cheesy garlic bread.

He stayed when he didn’t need to.

He kissed me and held me when I didn’t even say I needed it.

Today, he was with me from the moment we went to church to the cupcakes to san Francisco where we spent an intimate and relaxing 3 hours together. Really, what more can I complain about? I’ve got so much love in front of me.
All the grudges in the world couldn’t make me regret my decision.

Life, as defined by me

Is okay. Is great. I finally am getting what I asked for. It doesn’t feel the same.
As wanting it or as fighting for it. But at the same time it does. It feels like it’s worth it.
I feel the love and I’m happy. But at the back of my mind, it feels like I’m about to fall and I should catch myself now.
It’s great. We’re us. Why should there be more to ask for?
I knew the answer to this before I could even finish.

Maybe

Everything will be okay.
Kisses, hugs, hands.
Sunshine.
Lion king, Arigato, Antique Trove.

Maybe things are finally turning around.

F o u r

iPhone 4 and life is good. Coming home at first was lonely. Nothing seemed worthy or good enough. But it was only because I made it seem that way. Slowly, it is getting better. It feels like outside of this love, there is light.
The question is, am I still here? Am I out?
Do I want to be?

I don’t know.

I’m asking myself, is this what I want? And to ask this…do I even want to know the answer? Maybe its just a bad night.

For the f i r s t

Time in a long while, I feel happy. I feel almost content. I feel at peace and its nice. I hope this feeling stays. Oh ya and washed my sheets.

Starting n e w

First official night here, alone at 1823 33r Avenue. And I wanna wash my sheets already.

CIC

What is life without a purpose?
What is love without an interest?
What is living without a reason to?

Today has been a better day. It started with coffee and the triplets and ended with a shower and some jamba juice. I keep on asking myself: what’s wrong?

It’s sad to see

and be aware of the fact that I’m wasting my breaths, minutes, space doing something so selfish and mindless as being jealous. It’s not even worth my breath, a second of my day. It won’t get me anywhere. It doesn’t help me in any way. It doesn’t make me any happier. I’m logical. And this is illogical. I’m not this person, and I don’t have to be this person.

Everything will be alright

Day 1

And it felt like the longest day ever. I want to stick to myself and to who I know I am. I want to be strong and turn the other way. I want to stop worrying. But its so hard to be this person alone.